MA DCF Domestic Violence Allegations

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive and controlling behavior. It is a type of abuse that can be physical, sexual, emotional, financial, and/or psychological. Domestic violence also includes making threats. It can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. Isolated incidents, such as an occasional disagreement, are not cases for domestic violence. Again, domestic violence is a pattern of behavior.

Domestic violence does not discriminate based on age, economic status, race, or gender. Anyone can be a victim. 

What are the Warning Signs of a Domestic Abuser?

• They move fast in a relationship
• It seems like they are “too good to be true”
• They keep you from seeing your friends and family
• Extremely jealous or controlling behavior
• They fail to take responsibility for their actions
• They criticize you and frequently put you down

Can Domestic Abusers Ever Change?

Nothing is impossible. However, just because an abusive partner stops one form of abuse (ex. Physical violence) does not mean they will not abuse you emotionally, financially, or sexually.

Remember however, it’s not the victim’s responsibility to change the abuser. The change must come from within.

Domestic Violence: Women vs. Men

People of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender can be a victim of domestic violence. On average, 20 people are physically abused per minute by an intimate partner in the U.S. Domestic violence has serious consequences regardless of whether or not the victim is a male or female. While it may be less common for a man to be a victim of domestic violence, it is possible and does happen.

In terms of domestic violence statistics, scientific studies are hard to rely on. This is because it is difficult for researchers to get the actual rates of injury, death, and sexual offenses which are rates. Sometimes, people do not come forward because they are in fear of the consequences. For example, they may not want to have a criminal record, or they may be in fear of what their abuser will do to them if they find out. Also, a lot of victims of domestic violence do not think they are actually victims of it. That means people who actually do experience domestic violence in some way are not reporting it. So, the statistics may not be extremely accurate.

Why Should Parents and Caretakers Involved with DCF Know About This?

Remember, the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families (MA DCF) takes domestic violence situations very seriously. They will probably file a report when there is a situation where a child has seen or was a part of a domestic violence incident. It is important for parents and caretakers to know how domestic violence impacts the different genders for preventive and precautionary measures. 

Understanding how women and men experience domestic violence can help parents and caretakers properly tell their side of the story when DCF comes into their lives due to domestic violence allegations. This information is also helpful for parents and caretakers to be aware of how prevalent domestic violence is, and to identify if they are in an abusive relationship.

Women and Domestic Violence

Women have a greater chance of being victims of domestic violence than men. 1 in 3 women have experienced some sort of domestic violence by an intimate partner, and 1 in 4 women have been victims of severe physical violence by their partner. Studies indicate that most often, the motive for female-on-male violence is self-defense or self-protection rather than aggression. There are also some conflicting reports on the matter. Females between the ages of 16 and 24 are most vulnerable to domestic violence. According to the Children’s Bureau, approximately 33% of gay and lesbians’ individuals are domestic violence victims at some point in their lives. The Children’s Bureau also states that it is twice as more likely for a significant other to murder a female than a stranger. Females also experience over 5 to 10 times as many incidents of domestic violence than males.

Case Example: Woman Victim, Male Perpetrator

There was one DCF case where the father was facing child abuse and neglect allegations because of an anonymous report. The anonymous reporter wrote a letter to DCF describing how the parents were in a domestic abuse situation; it stated that the father was emotionally and physically abusing the mother. The letter also stated the children were in constant fear of the father and that they had marks or bruises on their body. However, the letter clearly showed the anonymous reporter had no personal knowledge about the family. The letter had very little information, and no specific examples of abuse, neglect, or violence, besides hearing yelling over a Zoom call. 

Such an insignificant report on such an insignificant example with so little knowledge may seem like nothing. But DCF took it and ran with it. DCF ended up permanently damaging a family’s well being and pestering them for months on end.

Eventually, DCF closed the case and rejected the allegations of abuse by the father. The evidence overwhelmingly showed that there was no serious concern of physical abuse. The evidence also showed that any perceived other form of abuse (the accusation of yelling) was simply his naturally loud demeanor. We conducted a polygraph, which showed that the family genuinely testified to there being no issue. 

This is an example of a case that began with so little, and could have turned into a fiasco which ruined the father’s life, unjustifiably. Fortunately, my clients were swift in taking the accusation seriously. That is why they were able to escape the threat of a false accusation damaging their reputation.

Men and Domestic Violence

Men can also be victims of domestic violence. 1 in 9 men experience severe domestic violence by their partner; 1 in 25 men have been abused by an intimate partner.

But men are more likely than women to be domestic abusers for a long period of time. A 2002 review by Michael Kimmel concluded that more than 90% of “systematic, persistent, and injurious” violence is perpetrated by men. 

23% of women and 19.3% of men said they were assaulted at least once. But surprisingly, more women (28.3%) have started domestic violence situations than men (21.6%). One study found that perpetration of “minor partner violence” was equal for men and women. On the other hand, the study found that men were more likely to start the severe incidents of domestic violence. Such statistics are enlightening as to certain cases. These statistics are all courtesy of the Children’s Bureau. 

Case Example: Man Victim, Woman Perpetrator

There was a DCF case where a father of three children was a victim of domestic violence by the mother.

DCF supported allegations of child neglect against both parents, even though only the mother was violent. DCF thought that the father was neglecting his children by not doing more to prevent the domestic violence by the mother. In other words, the Department was blaming the father for being a victim. Luckily, the father separated from the mother and hired an attorney. 

There was one incident that led to DCF coming into the family’s life: one night, father was trying to get his child to go to bed on time. The child was cranky and upset. The mother got frustrated at the father and started arguing with him. She grabbed him and wrapped a cord around his neck, attempting to strangle him. 

Can You Tell When Someone is a Victim of Domestic Violence?

There are several warning signs depending on the type of abuse someone is suffering from:

• Frequent bruises, broken bones, and other injuries
• Isolation and making excuses not to go out and see people
• Witnessing controlling or jealous behavior from someone’s partner

How Can You Help a Victim of Domestic Violence?

The most important thing you can do is listen to the victim. Reassure them that this is not their fault. If they are open to it, let them know that there are resources available to help them including therapists and advocacy groups. Do not report the family to DCF, as this may make matters worse.

What Domestic Violence Resources are Available for Victims?

There are many available resources available for victims of domestic abuse. Victims can use nationwide resources such as the Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE [7233]) and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (1-303-839-1852). There are also hotlines and shelters within Massachusetts that can be found on Mass 211.

Why do victims sometimes return to/stay with abusers?

Abusive partners work to keep victims trapped in the relationship, making it seem impossible to leave. Here are a few factors that may prevent someone from walking away from an abusive relationship:

• Their abuser controls the finances
• The abuser isolated the victim from their family and friends
• An abusive partner may “gaslight” a victim, or convince them they are responsible for the abuse and the failed relationship, making someone want to stay and prove otherwise
• Abusers may claim that they are going to change just to keep the victim from leaving
• Fear that the situation will escalate if they leave

How does Massachusetts DCF define neglect?

Neglect is failure by a caregiver to take those actions necessary to provide a child with minimally adequate food, clothing, shelter, medical care, supervision, emotional stability and growth, or other essential care. It does not matter to DCF if this neglect is deliberate or because of an inability to provide for your children.

Does MA DCF Domestic Violence = MA DCF Child Neglect?

When there are domestic violence allegations against you, DCF can accuse you of child neglect. In 2019, 74.4% of allegations made to DCF were of neglect. That same year, neglect allegations made up 85.9% of cases that were supported. DCF will claim that you are “neglecting” your child by letting them see and hear the abuse. These accusations are very serious and can have tragic effects for your family.

How Domestic Violence Affects Children

When a child witnesses domestic violence, it can have harmful consequences on their growth, development, and stability. It is helpful for parents and caretakers to understand how domestic violence affects children. This is because understanding this information sheds light on why Massachusetts Department of Children and Families (MA DCF) takes domestic violence so seriously.

MA DCF almost always intervenes when they get a report of domestic violence. They make accusations of child neglect against the parents when the children see domestic violence happen between the parents. They can also make accusations of child abuse if the parents or caretakers accidentally hit, push or harm the child. 

What Kinds of Domestic Violence Affect Children?

There are different ways that domestic violence/abuse that can affect a child. Some of these are:

1. Hearing a violent event 
2. Being directly involved as an eyewitness, interfering with the event, or being a part of a event
3. Experiencing the aftermath of a violent event 

Children who see domestic violence are “child witnesses”. Sadly, it is estimated that 3.3 to 10 million children a year will be at risk for witnessing or being exposed to domestic violence in their home. 

Are There Other Ways That Children Experience Domestic Violence?

There are many other ways children can experience domestic violence. When one parent uses the child to hurt the other parent emotionally, physically or mentally, it means the child is experiencing domestic violence.

For example, a parent can use the child by:

• Using them as a spy
• Getting the child to get the other parent in trouble
• Forcing them to watch the abuse 
• Making them abuse the other parent with them

Sometimes, perpetrators will intentionally abuse the children to intimidate or control their partner. This abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual.

What Are the Effects of Domestic Violence on Children?

Seeing domestic violence between their parents can cause children to have behavioral, social and emotional problems. Exposure to domestic violence can also lead to cognitive and attitudinal problems in children.

Also, when children experience domestic violence when they are young, it can seriously impact them in their adulthood. These long term problems include depression, trauma and violent tendencies later on in their life.

What Happens in a DCF Investigation for Domestic Violence Allegations?

DCF usually starts an investigation after a reporter calls their office. There are three (3) types of reporters: mandated, non-mandated and anonymous reporters. Mandated reporters legally have to report every single suspicion they have that a parent/caretaker is abusing or neglecting a child. Non-mandated reporters are not required to report anything. Anyone can be a non-mandated reporter. A DCF worker will take down all necessary information in a 51A report. Once that report is complete, they will decide whether the matter is worth looking into. Then DCF will either screen-in or screen-out the 51A report. If it is screened-in, they will start an investigation because they believe there is “reasonable cause to believe” the allegations are true.

A DCF investigation involving domestic violence can do more harm than good. A DCF worker can contact anyone involved with your family and ask them questions about your relationship with your partner and your children. They can make you feel like you did not protect your child or that you may have failed as a parent.

What if You’re the Victim?

Even when you are a victim of domestic violence, there is always room for DCF to treat you like the perpetrator. Instead of understanding that you may be the wronged party, they can choose to accuse you or your partner of neglecting your children. This is not right. No one deserves to be treated like a failure for something they did not do. Especially if these domestic violence allegations are false, or you are a victim of domestic violence. 

If you are a victim of domestic violence, it is important to get the help you and your children need. It is better to discuss your relationship problems to a therapist than a DCF worker. If DCF is in your life, do not sign any releases from them before speaking to your lawyer. If you sign a release of information for DCF to speak to your therapist, they may have to report what you told them in therapy. While therapy is usually confidential, DCF can retrieve information from your therapist about your relationship and have them testify in court.

Make a plan and obtain legal representation. Do not try to go through this alone. Your main priorities should be to keep your children and get DCF out of your life forever. Do not become a DCF statistic by being ill-prepared. It is important to have a DCF attorney that can clarify the process for you and help you keep your head above water.

Are There Real MA DCF Cases with Domestic Violence Allegations?

I once had a case where a neighbor called the police because of altercation between the mother and father. The father accidentally hit the mother when trying to get her phone–the father had never done this before. Still, DCF made allegations that this was a case of domestic violence. The Department also assumed the children saw the incident, even though they did not have any evidence to prove this.

DCF supported the allegations against the father for neglect after visiting the home just once for the 51B investigation. Luckily, the father was granted a Fair Hearing, where we explained to the Fair Hearing Officer that the investigation was not thorough and led to wrongfully supported allegations. DCF had no choice but to see the facts and unsupport the allegations.

I had another case where DCF was accusing a victim of domestic violence of neglect. This mother had suffered abuse from her husband and was looking to leave him. She went to get a restraining order, and at the hearing for the restraining order, the judge ordered DCF to investigate the father. Instead, DCF supported neglect allegations against both parents for exposing their child to domestic violence. But since the child was never in the room during these altercations, DCF eventually overturned the allegations. However, this was a case that should have never happened. My client had sought help by filing for a divorce and a restraining order, and DCF accused her of neglecting her child. The same child she was protecting by leaving her husband.

Can Parents Fight False MA DCF Domestic Violence Allegations?

If you have a disagreement in front of your children, or even just in your house, DCF can accuse you or your partner of domestic violence. Then DCF may support allegations of child neglect against you. These accusations are very serious and can have tragic effects for your family. False allegations of domestic violence are devastating for families. Despite not committing any crimes, parents and caregivers are faced with criminal penalties and child custody battles. If you are a professional, your license can be suspended.

DCF has specific policies and procedures, but they also make mistakes. DCF handles many cases on a daily basis, which makes it too easy for them to miss details. Sometimes, DCF’s mistakes could have disastrous consequences for your family.

When MA DCF accuses you of neglect because of domestic violence, you must have a plan to keep your kids and get DCF out of your life. DCF can rip a family apart. For example, DCF can insist that you get a restraining order against your partner or else they will take your child. They do this even if the domestic violence allegations are completely false. If DCF does this to you, you should take out the restraining order. Then at the hearing for the restraining order, you can tell the judge you only filed for the restraining order because DCF told you to and you had to do what was in the best interests of your children. Sometimes, the judge may deny the order if you are not filing for the right reasons.

 Kevin Seaver is a trusted Massachusetts DCF Lawyer specialized in DCF law since 1991.